5-Minute Management Course

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.  When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
 

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel..'
 

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.  The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
 

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
 

'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.
 

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

 

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

 

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
 

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
 

The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg..

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
 

The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
 

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

 

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'  

Puff! She's gone.
 

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
 

Puff! He's gone.

 

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
 

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'  

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
 

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. 

 

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

 

Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 

 

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
 

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
 

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
 

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:

Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
 

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
 

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate..
 

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend..
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


I don't know the author, but appreciate the wisdom.

Quantum Business Start-Up

www.dilbert.com

This cartoon brilliantly captures a quality that is essential to anyone starting a business or launching a new building product. Before the first spade of earth is turned to build a factory, for example, one has to be know that the project is a total success; even if it can't be observed yet.

The Ultimate Roll-Up?

I was recently asked about the attractiveness of having a single company provide all elements of the building envelope, including roofing, foundation, exterior walls, cladding, windows, curtainwalls, entrances, storefronts, insulation, vapor barriers, and the rest. The question came from a business strategy firm, suggesting that some group of investors is seriously contemplating such a move.

At least one company is already well on its way to being able to offer complete building envelopes. Oldcastle is one of the company's that is well on its way toward offering a complete package, with strong positions in masonry, concrete, glass and glazing systems, curtainwalls, doors and skylights. Add a roofing manufacturing line, and they have it.*

The past few decades has seen strong trends towards "roll-ups" -- bringing many small producers under one corporate ownership -- in attempts to gain economy of scale and improve competitiveness by dominating an industry and combining related products into package.

Roll-ups are well established in some sectors. In lighting fixtures, for example, Hubbell has acquired over 20 previously independent brands, and electronic giant Philips recently acquired the sixteen brands that had been rolled-up by Genlyte. Assa Abbloy and just a few other firms now dominate door hardware.

While roll-ups do have important competitive advantages, many suffer from the following syndromes:

• They lose the edge in innovation to smaller, more flexible and entreprenurial business.
• Promotion of individual brands suffer from having to follow a corporate model. For example, some of my clients have to use corporate websites that focus on selling to investors instead of to designers and builders.
• Managers, striving to improve the profits of their division, become jealous of and competitive with each business units, to the detriment of the overall company.
• Product offerings become so diverse, that individuals within the firm are unable to cross refer prospects or identify opportunities for other brands.
• Size dilutes the expertise.  What salesman can be an authority on glass AND roofing AND insulation? In smaller companies, a prospect can deal directly with a principal or other senior personnel with true expertise in a field.

Indeed, I have been a consultant to many large firms and roll-ups that crumbled due to their mass, and were more competive when unrolled.

Further, roll-ups have to compete with companies that do not manufacture all parts of a system, but assemble or "package" products from multiple vendors into bid packages that also create economies of scale. Packagers also have the advantage of using the "best" product or a job without the limitations of having to use those from sister companies. They also have the flexibility to take advantage of attractive spot pricing.

In the final analysis, every general contractor is a packager, and already offers all elements of the building envelope.

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* Pre-engineered metal building manufacturers do already offer a complete envelope, including walls, roofs, structure, and accessories. But that is a subject for another blog post.